Friday, January 22, 2010

Can I just go to the bathroom PLEASE?!

I had one of my worst days yesterday. I know it probably won't sound too bad to some of you, but just the fact that everything compounded and I felt bitchy was enough to send me over the edge and take today off.

The day started out bad because I couldn't find my waitressing bank. I use my own wallet and without it, I'm already down the 20 dollars in change we servers are expected to have. So, I'm running 5 minutes behind. I make up for it by driving 80 on the freeway. And as a side note, nope, I've NEVER been pulled over by a cop (knock on wood).

Anyway, so I get there and I have a follow. I don't like having a follow. While I appreciate the fact that my manager consider my work superior to the others, it messes me up. I'm thinking about what I'm supposed to be telling her, instead of concentrating fully on my tables.

My first table complains about the bathrooms.
Couple: "You two were excellent, but the bathrooms were unacceptable."
Me: "What was wrong with them?"
Couple: "The stalls were all out!"
Me: "Let me get my manager. He has more control over that."

So I go get my manager and tell him that the guest is upset. He checks the bathroom and yes, one stall was out, but the other two were fine- not even a scrap of TP on the ground! So he goes out and talks to the couple. Their problem? One stall was out of order, one had toilet paper in the toilet (I didn't see it), and the other was occupied. WTF? Then wait! God damn it people, it doesn't HAVE to be so difficult.

I got 4 on 25, 5 on 33, 3 on 30 and my all-time favorite- 9 on 87.

After all my fucktard tables are cashed out, I ask to be first cut. Since I ask only once a month, still I close lunch all the time, the managers don't mind. I'm cut.

I take off my apron and decide to go to the bathroom before I get something to eat. I get in there and there's three women in there, one hovering in the stall. I wait behind them.

Woman #1: "Miss? We can't get the toilet to flush."
Woman #2: "Aren't they automatic?"
Me: *turn and walk out of the bathroom*

All I wanted to do was take a piss. PUSH THE GOD DAMN FLUSH BUTTON, THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE IT FLUSH! How did these people not get hit by cars more? I know old people are technology intolerant, but fuck me! Just push the button!!! JUST PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON!!!!!!


  1. "How do these people not get hit by cars?" LOL and it is not only funny but a VERY good question.

    I never understood 10% tippers. As everyone says "if you can't afford to tip don't eat out". And I simply cannot believe that people don't know minimum is 15% with 20% being really the acceptable starting point.

  2. Jesus, are people really that lazy they can't flush the damned toilet?!

  3. girl your are complaning on a 5 dollar tip on a 33 dollar check?? really?? i get lesser than that everyday..and 9 on 100 dollar bill its an average tip to me...i live in the south and ppl are pretty shitty tippers..think there are other waitress like me that get worst tips

  4. This made me crack up. Try this. Day 1 of my monthly expected Aunt Flo. My mom is in town for ONE night only and I closed the nught before. The server I asked to close instead refused with the reasoning that SHES TOO LAZY. My manager instead tells me I can leave at midnight.... an hour before close. Then forces me to take later tables knowing I would stuck. I got home at 2 am. Mom got wasted on Bourbon St with my sister and I got to sleep in soy sauce.